I have been getting beaten down between 24/7 job uncertainty with the bad engineering market right now, a full-strip house renovation, and not sleeping well.
Yesterday renovation with my girlfriend’s family I hit a breakpoint of just going numb after the 3-4 hours of work I put into building the bath frame has to be shortened by 2cm to get the tiles flat that I wrongly calculated because my brain doesn’t work anymore. Like 50% of the work has to be redone and half of the holes through the tiles carefully redrilled.
Today I actually took a day off just working on my personal electronics project. Just a nice, sunny day playing with our dog, doing a bit of gardening and actually enjoying the day instead of just going and going renovating or working or going to social events. I really needed it. Back to the grind tomorrow.
Woah man, I’m impressed
Was working my ass of in my job for years, but at home, I’m always just breaking down…
And since my burnout, I’m already happy, when I can accomplish the tasks on hand.
I really miss personal, fulfilling projects. But it seems, I just don’t have the energy anymore…
While it can certainly wear a person down at times. Take a moment to appreciate the purpose and fulfilment you get from doing all of that.
Once upon a time, I did a lot too. After my broken neck and back, the hardest adjustment was pulling back the reigns and acknowledging my limits are only a tiny fraction of what I used to accomplish.
We kinda have a culture that focuses on the pressures and acknowledging how they can overwhelm and consume a person if not kept in check. That is good; that is healthy. However, it is easy to also miss out on the value of accomplishment and the feelings of purpose in life.
I never really noticed or understood why older people often tell stories about things like their big house renovation projects of the past instead of things they are interested in or would like to accomplish in the present. After disability struck prior to middle age for me, I find myself often doing the same story telling.
With great capacity for accomplishing large projects comes a hopeful optimism hiding under the surface and driving a person to attempt something large or daunting. Eventually, that capacity fades. If it fades gradually, I believe the rate of decline likely softens the negative impacts and masks the contrasting richness of life and purpose created by such accomplishments. You have plenty of time to relax and still do much, but don’t forget to take pause and appreciate the now. The biggest challenges are often eventually twisted by the mind into the fondest of memories after the passing of enough time.
I went to the garden center and picked up some flowers and did as bit of gardening myself - such as it is. I also made a casserole and hadn’t used the internet for several hours. I get it my friend in dullness. What is your electronics project, if you don’t mind the question?
I am making a privacy friendly fitness band (smart watch with no screen) that is just meant to track biometrics without tracking you via GPS and the app or distracting you with messages and notifications.
I design medical sensing devices for work so this isn’t too far of a reach.
