Guess what won’t be approved?

The weirdo is taking it

Mattress Firm Money Laundering conspiracy theory

I just put another company’s junk mail in their envelope and send it to them so they know how it feels.

Did you implement a change last night?

No.

Did you implement a change last night?

No.

Did you implement a change last night?

…Yes

Has he tried not being a Nazi?

What really evil stuff is he going to do while everyone is outraged over a hat?

I hated my hair but I sure do miss it.

Oh no not a treasonous traitor!

Must be an HP printer

This must be the final solution to autism

Stock price is a helluva drug

Who the hell still carries around paper checks?

Old people who wish to punish everyone else in line at the grocery store.

Vance killed him because the Pope didn’t own a suit

How many times is it a senior citizen driving a Buick that’s holding up traffic…

Please do. I’ve been thinking of turning to a life of crime anyway.

Nobody likes us,
Everybody hates us,
I guess we’ll go eat worms…

Those long walks do wonders for a headache

A cheaper-made Tesla? Sounds awesome

I’ve had Pixels for years and the call screener is my favorite feature. It confuses so many people.