You expect me to remember?

Got drunk after a terrible day at work. Walked home and climbed in bed and started to jerk off to end the long day. Some random person walked in on me.

I was in the wrong house.

I was in Bucharest and I went into town for dinner with a friend before we were to leave the next day. It was about -2c out and I didn’t have a suitable jacket. We started drinking and my latest memory is about 8pm. I woke up the next morning at the hotel without about 40 missed calls from my wife. She said she’d called me at one point and I’d lost my friend and I was outside a club, so drunk that I couldn’t read the name of the place and had to spell it out. I hung up and when she called later a Romanian picked up and she couldn’t understand them, that was around 3am. She googled the name of the club and it was 2 miles outside of town. We still don’t know how we got home.

It’s not the drunkest I’ve been but it was a funny time, in college we were drinking 151 around a fire in the woods. I brownout and when I come to I am about 3ft off the ground suspended in the air by a Holly bush. No idea wtf I was doing and no one was around when I got stuck there but I called out for help and fortunately a gargantuan friend was able to pluck me out of those bushes. 😂 Good times.

The one time I made myself sick on rum in college. Didn’t touch rum again for 15 years.

John Doe bracelet

In my early 20’s, I once drank from about 9am to, shit, i-don’t-remember PM. Buddy dragged me along to a static x concert. I fell asleep. Standing up. At a static x concert.

Was at a buddy from works flat drinking in my 20s. He has spinal bifida and was explaining his quirky gait that he walks with. Showed me the scars from the ‘Brazilians’ of operations he’s had to straighten everything out …and I fainted.

I was already holding a vase from nausea - I think he was trying to distract me?

• Normally I’m less on the queezy side and more fascinated with medical stuff
• (fellas, stay awake for your vasectomy - it’s wild!)

but this combo of alcohol nausea and ladders of scarring up his spine ruined me.

He saw me flake out and grabbed a wrist as I fell down. I woke up with a pile of broken glass in front of my face and a cut just behind me eye - who knows what would have happened as I had veen holding held the vase under my chin with one hand while the other grasped the bench.